As some of my readers know, I’ve has been toying (emphasis on the word “toy”) with the idea of a new vehicle for some time. I currently have a 10 minute, no-highway commute to the university where I work, and am thinking something more green than my gas guzzling Grand Cherokee may be in order. I even went so far at one point to consider a Vespa scooter, but then realized there was no way in hell I could possibly look sexy on a Vespa.
Okay, I hear you asking, what does looking sexy have to do with buying a new family car? Guys, back me up here, when you ladies hear us guys say things like we want a car that’s “safe”, “reliable” and “green”… translated from guy-speak what we are really saying is we want something that’s “sporty”, “fun” and, oh yeah, “sexy”. We’re not asking for much. We dads already leave the house with spit-up in our hair, toting your pink diaper bag.
And we understand that wanting a sexy vehicle may be childish and smacks more than a bit of a premature mid-life-crisis. But damn it… we want one! So back to the Vespa idea; ignoring the likelihood of an early death-by-pickup-truck, I’ve concluded unless you’re leaning against one parked on the Piazza Navona with a lovely girl on your arm, there is no way to make it look sexy. Plus putting a baby seat in a side-car is likely frowned upon?
Recent medical studies have linked low testosterone count to driving minivans. Okay, I made that up. But how do we find a safe, reliable, green vehicle (remember to run that through the aforementioned guy-speak translator) that will handle a small family like mine? “Green” cars have never been that attractive . Early hybrids were pretty far from sexy, and the Chevy Volt, Nissan Leaf & upcoming Ford Focus EV’s are barely better.
And so, I feel it’s time to publicly express my lust for the Tesla Model S. This fully electric car offers luxurious space, seating for five adults AND two children, and a second cargo area under the hood. And it’s outfitted with the latest safety engineering. In guy-speak, it’s sexy. Very sexy. 0-60 in 5.6 seconds, with a 120 mph top speed, and it will have a 300 mile range battery pack option. Oh, and did I mention it’s safe and green?
Don’t ask how much it costs… just think of how much you’ll save! James Bond (as portrayed by Sean Connery… the only real Bond) would be proud to drive one. So can I have one… can I… can I… can I? Okay, I’m done with my childish rant. Learned that from my 2 year old, and I suspect it will be equally ineffective. So, have you thought about getting a new vehicle? What are you considering… or what would you consider if you could?
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