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20 Things Guys Should Never Wear | What Women Wish Men Knew

Help us guys out. YOU girls know the things we should never wear, but some of you are too nice to tell us. You’re not doing yourself or us a favor by keeping it secret. For example, I left for work at the university this morning sporting an untucked turtleneck, a grey herringbone tweed jacket, jeans and black cowboy boots. At least some of you are cringing, right? I just remembered a recent comment by my wife, “I didn’t know you owned any turtlenecks.”

Now this comment may have been completely innocent, but it left a tiny question in the back of my mind. Was she really saying, “OMG, I married a geek who owns turtle necks” or was she saying, “Wow, I married a guy who wears sexy turtlenecks?” We guys aren’t always so good at reading the subtext, and as I suspect you can clarify in the comment section of this blog, we also aren’t always so good at selecting the most attractive attire for ourselves.

Ralph Lauren

© 2011 Ralph Lauren Media LLC

Now I say this not to put down guys or our taste. Guys tend to place a more utilitarian focus on fashion selections. If one cargo pocket is good, then four is great. We also, however, do sometimes try to dress to please you, our significant others. Here we need your help. Which brings me back to my turtleneck and tweed jacket. To me that spelled “sophistication, class and style”, but suspect that might spell something quite different to you?

Please, in the comments, once and for all, tell us guys what we should never wear if we want you our better halves to find us attractive. To make it easy I’ll get you started with a few things I suspect could be in your lists, but I need you to confirm I’m right or wrong about this? And clearly I need you to add your personal pet peeves to the list. You don’t need to tell your hubby, though you could casually leave your computer open to this blog if you want?


  • turtlenecks
  • pleated pants
  • boxers, briefs or ?
  • high-water pants
  • skinny jeans
  • Dockers (or similar)
  • cellphone clipped to belt
  • novelty tee Shirts
  • un-clipped nails
  • bling (except wedding ring)
  • socks with shorts
  • crocks with anything
  • sunglasses indoors
  • fanny pack or man-bag

So go ahead… what is it you wish we guys knew?

 Skinny Jeans and other Mens Fashion Fails!



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  1. Melissa

    Shirts that are too tight!! Time to throw out everything from high school. Your body isn’t 17 anymore!!

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. That’s a good one, Melissa! Yeah, my body definitely isn’t 17 any more. I’m sure I have a few size small tee shirts in my closet that I really need to give up on ever fitting into again.

    2. twistedxtian

      But what if we look better now than we did at 17 and want to show off our awesome muscles? lol

      1. Michael Schmid

        Fine, rub it in Christopher. 😉 I noticed your use of the ubiquitous “lol”. Have you ever noticed how “lol” it looks like a drowning man? Just sayin’ :)

    3. Cris

      Hi Michael Schmid,

      I stumbled on your blog and enjoyed reading…

      My Logic is that because fashion is based on Time and Place, one has to know wha era is being discussed!

      For instance It is a solid fact that many designers who created the fashion for women and men are re-creating fashion. Jeans with A dress shirt has featured on many run-ways. Hats… Have made their way indoors…… Tight fitted shirts and pants saves fabric and makes men look trim (go loose weight to enjoy the trend).

      Pointedly the current trend ,,, metrosexual and so forth captures the New Man…. not the overweight man from “you know where”.

      In countries like Poland, Italy, France you can see the runway on the street and its on dignified TRIM 50 year olds AND you will love it.

      Please lets see the Timelines

      Good job!

      1. Michael Schmid

        You’ve made some great points, Cris. Thank you! I concur that fashion changes with the times, and would add that they also change with the place. I was just in meetings at SXSW and wore nice slim-cut (not skinny) jeans, a crisp (but not over-starched), trim-cut, spread-collar, white dress shirt, and sport coat. While dressier than the average attendee, it was sufficiently casual as to not look over dressed. Of course, as noted previously, I don’t hold myself out as some sort of fashion expert. Far from it. Look in my closet and you’ll find cargo shorts, Crocs… and if you dig far enough a pair of speedos (to wear under a diveskin). :)

  2. Bella

    Speedos. Seriously, even the guy in the best of shape looks silly and foolish in them.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Not sure how I missed putting Speedos on my list, Bella. Good catch. And you’re right, even on the most fit guy, there’s no way to make them look manly. They are man-kinis. What’s next, thongs for guys?

      1. ellyfilho

        Oh geez Speedos are disgusting sorry if anyone here thinks other wise .. just completely eww

  3. Betsy

    Anything with a hole or stain, no matter how small. I don’t care if it’s a favorite – once it gets ratty, it needs to go.

    1. Michael Schmid

      I’m listening to a book on CD about getting rid of clutter in your home, and that is one of the things he says, Betsy. And it sort of goes along with Melissa’s point in the first comment. If you’ve had it since high-school, it’s bound to be both super tight and frayed. Time to toss it. [sniff]

      1. Laura

        I disagree with this to the extent they can be used as work shirts (as in work around the house NOT as in leave the house and go to work). However an entire drawer full of them is not necessary. Maybe 3 tops to allow for a 3 day weekend project! And they should not leave the property.

        1. Michael Schmid

          You’re point is well taken, Laura. And as you say, the problem arises when we accumulate large numbers of things like tee shirts, which I know from personal experience is easy to do. Keep a few of the worn/stained ones for work shirts, and toss the rest.

  4. ReliantAC

    There is nothing worse than a sunglasses lanyard… or a glasses lanyard. Or actually any type of lanyard. That is what pockets are for.

    1. Michael Schmid

      I used to wear sunglasses lanyard on dive boats and such…. and embarrassingly around town a few times. Anyway I don’t use them at all now after seeing how dorky I looked in a photo wearing one. Good tip!!!

    2. sn0w60ard3r

      but if you are wearing speedo’s you can’t just put them in you “pocket.”

  5. The Momma

    Socks with sandals or flip flops. Especially black socks. *shudder*

    1. Michael Schmid

      Oh definitely, Ginger. Even I know that one. LOL. When I lived in Europe I remember seeing tourists wearing Bermuda shorts, with black socks and sandals. Yikes!

  6. Vedette

    1. Turtlenecks really depend on the man’s body type. I think the type of man who can pull off a turtleneck is relatively slender and on the taller end of the scale. Everyone else should put them in the goodwill bin.
    2. Pleated Pants. BURN THEM.
    3. If you’re going to wear briefs, don’t wear white ones. Personally, I like the boxer-briefs because they are form-fitting (less likely to have things popping out, if you know what I mean) but don’t make a guy look like he’s wearing a speedo
    4. High Water Pants? Is this a serious question?
    5. Skinny Jeans do not look good on men. Prissy little emo teenage boys, maybe. Real men don’t wear skinny jeans
    6. I assume by “Dockers” you mean khaki pants. As long as they aren’t pleated, we’re good to go. :)
    7. I think if your cell phone is most convenient clipped to your belt, then by all means, clip it there. Doesn’t bother me any.
    8. I love a tshirt that can make me laugh. I even like tshirts that could possibly offend someone. Just don’t wear the really nasty ones around my kid.
    9. Dude, clip your nails.
    10. I think a few pieces of manly jewelry are ok. As long as it isn’t huge and/or doesn’t have a dollar sign on it.
    11. I mean, ankle socks or folded over crew socks are fine. The long trouser socks that come up to your knees? Well, they call them trouser socks for a reason.
    12. Crocs are fine for casual situations as long as you aren’t wearing socks
    13. uh. why?
    14. Fanny packs look stupid on both men and women. Man-Bags are sort of a grey area for me. I mean, I get the need for a bag if you travel a lot or are a student. Other than that, I’m not sure it’s necessary.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Thank you for sharing your opinion in such detail, Vedette. That’s really helpful. And to be clear, my wife will tell you I’ve fallen short on more than one of these, so no doubt she’ll appreciate your reinforcement. Liked your comment on Skinny Jeans… they’re for “Prissy little emo teenage boys.” I’ve never been able to bring myself to buy Crocks. We’ll see. LOL.

  7. Linda

    Lol! Nothing by Ed Hardy if you’re over 19 years of age. Dad jeans, tucked in t-shirts, an exposed beer gut, and hmmmm…a speedo, unless of course, you’re swimming competetively in a youth-oriented league.

    Oh, I know, tha’t soooo sexist, but hey, I don’t think women should don a bikini unless rockin’ a tight bod, either.

    And the #1 fashion faux pas in my humble opinion is a crappy attitude.

    Btw, I have a feeling you pulled off the turtle neck just fine;)

    1. Michael Schmid

      Okay… remember we guys are already fashion challenged, Linda. Ed Hardy is the guy making all the tattoo inspired apparel, right? I see dads wearing that stuff at the mall all the time. So women hate that? Should I stop them and tell them? Speedos were clearly an oversight. I’ve only worn them under a scuba divesuit (for easy on/off) purposes. And believe me I pulled the bottom half of the dive suit up before anyone could see the offending article. To be clear, I mean the offending article of clothing.

  8. Laura

    turtlenecks- with the right jacket (in the winter) this is ok… I like it!
    pleated pants- NEVER
    boxers, briefs or ?- Boxers, actually boxer briefs. NEVER tighty whities (Or any variation thereof
    high-water pants- really, you have to ask? No, not ever.
    skinny jeans- ugh no…
    Dockers (or similar)- Dockers what? They make a lot of stuff
    cellphone clipped to belt- this is reserved for people who want other people to think they are important.. notice the cell never rings?
    novelty tee Shirts- I love these personally… major points if it makes me laugh out loud.
    un-clipped nails- ewww. no… hygiene
    bling (except wedding ring)– bling should never be said, let alone worn….
    socks with shorts- ankle socks only, or those ones shorter than ankle socks… only with tennis shoes, never with sandals.
    crocks with anything- men should never wear Crocks
    sunglasses indoors- nope, unless you are nursing a hangover or a migraine.
    fanny pack or man-bag- please.. no

    I just consider myself lucky that my husband is in uniform most of the time. When he is in “civies” it is PJ’s and a tshirt, or jeans and a t.

    1. Michael Schmid

      NEVER tighty whities (Or any variation thereof), cellphone clipped to belt? This is reserved for people who want other people to think they are important.. notice the cell never rings? “bling” (except wedding ring)– bling should never be said, let alone worn….

      Excellent points… and thanks for making me laugh. You comment got stuck in my spam folder for some reason. Are you a spammer? Hmmm. As for your hubby wearing a uniform, I suspect many women would prefer that.

    2. Antome

      Skinny jeans: Medium skinny maybe, I think it looks ok, if some men jeans are a little more taylored.
      socks with shorts : I agree, only ankle length, never with sandals and almost never white except with lighter colored shoes. With some loafers they look ok too, though this ones still looks a bit better barefeet when in shorts, but with the right socks they look at least passable.

      cellphone clipped to belt-: Warning, it has nothing to do with apprearing important or fashion statement usually, I’d do it if I need to answer the cell much often, to prevent the risk of brain cancer.

  9. MommyJ

    Agreed that speedos should only be worn by competitive swimmers. The end, or maybe even just those that swim laps for exercise. I guess what I’m saying is they must have a purpose… instead of just being worn cause you want to show off your stuff. Yes?

    I’m not sure that I mind turtlenecks, if they are worn correctly, and they are the right kind of turtleneck. I’m thinking more often than not, it’s a NO all around, but on a case by case basis, I can see them working.

    Pleated suit pants are fine, but not pleated khakis.

    My husband has a pair of croc flip flops, but they don’t look like crocs, so I’m good with them. I think anyone over the age of twelve that wears the original Croc on a regular basis needs a knock up side the head. Unless you’re gardening.

    Cell phones on the belt… please. Just don’t.

    1. Michael Schmid

      I knew I could count on the straight scoop from someone who named her blog! Thank you for weighing in. Sadly I’m guilty of some of these things (not the speedo except under a skin diving suit). [blush] Thanks for the input. Think how many guys (and there long-suffering wives) you are helping.

  10. Hungrigyrl

    No bolo ties. No tank tops, ribbed “wifebeaters” or printed ones. No fanny packs. please.

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. When I was a young guy on a trip to Santa Fe with my dad I bought a bolo tie. Never actually wore it, though. My dad’s generation did wear those ribbed “wife beaters”, but fortunately that was a style-don’t I missed. As for fanny packs… well, I do have a small shoulder bag my brother gave me because of all my European travel. And Europe was the only place I’ve used it. I’m pretty sure here in Texas I’d get my butt kicked.

  11. Laura

    Can we add hair styles to this?
    We’re in 2011. Please, no mullets! And please keep it on the short side. If a man’s hair is longer than mine and his name isn’t Willie Nelson or some big, bad biker nickname it’s GOT TO GO!
    Un-clipped nails? Oh dear. That just gives me mental images of wicked witches from Disney movies. Can they please be clean too?
    I totally understand the excitement if your favorite college team won some kind of national championship in 1983, but for the love of all all that is holey (haha) please don’t wear the shirt/sweatshirt/jacket proclaiming their sporting glory. It’s been a few years…that shirt should be in the look but don’t touch drawer in the dresser in the deepest, darkest corner of the basement.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Absolutely… no achy breaky hairstyles, please! I just got my hair cut as much shorter than in the photo on my site. My wife really likes it. Thanks so much for dropping by, Laura. Love your wordless Wednesday photos.

  12. Renee

    My husband is sooooo bad with clothes I don’t even think I can help,

    Right off the top though, pleated pants…No
    Fanny pack…No
    The aforementioned speedos…OMG NO

    And turtlenecks? Only if one actually has a neck. Oh, and a chin to define the head from the neck.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hey Renee. Thanks for dropping by from Twitter. I’m pretty much with you on your points above. Though I am wearing a turtleneck today as I said in the blog, but do have a neck. LOL. I think it would look much better, though, as someone said if I lost the rest of my sympathetic baby bump (going on more than two years now). As for your husband being so bad with clothes, tell him to do what I do: For birthdays and Christmas I tell my wife to please buy me stuff she’ll think I look sexy in. Looking sexy for her is all that matters, and she has great taste.

  13. Ginger

    Please… Please… Please…

    NO sweatpants or pajama pants in public! Especially dirty or with holes! And double NO if you wear sandals with socks along with the sweatpants/pj’s! *ick*!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Ah, but Ginger, I’ve found girls much more guilty of that fashion faux pas (the PJ one) than guys… but must confess to having run to the corner store a few times in sweats. We’re not talking church or the theater here. 😉 How do you feel about men going out in speedos, socks and sandals? Just wondering?

    2. ellyfilho

      OMG yes I Agree…. Sweatpants / Completely Gross

  14. twistedxtian

    I’ve never understood the hate-on for pleated pants, though I only have pleated dress pants. Why the hate?

    Where do corduroy pants fit? Yay or nay?

    1. Michael Schmid

      Christopher, we’re going to have to put that to our panel of experts, but on the pleats, I expect it a matter of esthetics. They really don’t lay that well, and as such are not flattering… but that’s just this guys guess, and we already know how good I am a this stuff. As for cords, my wife likes them,. but not so much the thick kind… more the jean cut, and definitely flat front.

  15. Erin

    I agree with your wife on the jean cut cords. NEVER pleated pants! They make heavy guys look heavier and skinny guys skinnier! Sounds like you’ll do well following your wife’s advice!! :)

    1. Michael Schmid

      How much did she pay you to say that, Erin? 😉 Actually I agree, but don’t tell her.

  16. Michelloui | The American Resident

    I was with my husband in a v nice men’s clothing shop recently sitting on a sofa while he looked through the rack of trousers. The shop assistant, an older guy, was standing a ways behind him and asking him what he was looking for. My husband said ‘well nothing with pleats, thats for sure!’ and I watched the poor guy glance down at his trousers as if looking for pleats. No pleats that day, and by the look of Narrow Escape on his face I’ll bet he went home and threw all his pleated trousers into bags for charity that night.

    I kind of like turtlenecks on guys.

    Cellphone clipped to belt–you’re kidding right?

    Sunglasses inside. Ugh.

    Please no fanny packs or man bags. And you know not to call it a fanny pack when you next visit the UK, right? 😉

    1. Michael Schmid

      Jealous though I may be of your ability to simply pop into Mayfair for a quick visit to a Savile Row tailor, that is a funny story. Actually there are no quick visits to Savile Row, are there? Per your comment, unless I like the way a clothing store clerk is dressed I would find it hard to purchase something from him or her. It’s odd how fashions come and go. I do have a couple of old Italian suits with pleated trousers I must give to charity. 😉

  17. Mitzi@Daily Reflection

    In response to your thoughts on your particular Turtle Neck situation, I would have to agree with your line of thinking that they can definitely portray an image of “sophistication, class and style” (In your case, this would be correct)
    Now on to the other delimas
    2. Pleated Pants – they still make those?
    3. boxers, briefs or ? – You didn’t really go there did you? COMFORT!!!!
    4. High Water Pants – are you going wading in a puddle? No my friend…just say no
    5. Skinny Jeans – Absolutely NOT!!! (Hubby has a pair of them that recently got tossed)
    6. Dockers – why not?
    7. Cell phone clipped to belt- I say it needs to be where ever it is easy for you to reach and comfortable.
    8.novelty tee Shirts – depends on where you are going. Friendly jaunt to Walmart of playing at the park with the wee one…totally fine, more adult outing…not so much
    9. Unclipped Nails – manicured nails are for men too.
    10. Bling (except wedding ring) – Watch naturally! as for other items such as necklace & bracelet or some other sort of ring? Humm…not so much.
    11. Trouser Socks –
    12. Crocs – NO
    13. sunglasses indoors – DORK
    14. Fanny packs????? Do people still use these unless maybe they are jogging?

    There you have my 2 cents my friend. Bottom line here though. A lot of these are Personal preferences. Your lovely wife definitely knows style, trust her instincts. Also, you do well enough for yourself. As long as you are Comfortable and the like, that’s all that matters.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Well, thank you very much for those kind words, Mitzi. If I leave the house looking good it’s almost certainly because of my wonderful wife and her excellent taste. I’m surprised, and grateful, you did not bring up kilts, as I’m sure you’ve seen me in one at least once. And that always raises the question about what one wears underneath a kilt. Tradition be damned, there were little kids around… I wore underwear.

  18. shelley (@momma_oz)

    More important that what you wear is HOW you wear it… Nothing SCREAMS sexy more than confidence, so if you wanna rock your 1980’s style I say GO FOR IT as long as you are confident and feel great in it… but don’t take fashion advice from me… I don’t cater to fashion “rules” and only stick with wearing what makes me feel strong, beautiful and sexy. Men should do the same

    1. Michael Schmid

      Shelly, that is brilliant advice. It’s very true that nothing is sexier than appropriate self-confidence. I should point out, however, that some people have unearned self-confidence. Fix the image of “Borat” in your mind. Confident, sure… sexy, no. Just sayin’

  19. Fabuliss (Sasha Westin)

    This has been an entertaining read – esp your retorts.

    One thing I would add is that it’s distressing to see a guy in clothes that look like they were worn before. I know it happens ALL THE TIME but we don’t want to know about it. Men need to make sure to hang clothes up so they hang out. And if they’re still wrinkly in the morning, either throw them in the dryer for a few, iron them or put them in the laundry/dry cleaning pile.

    Re Christopher’s question about corduroys pants, a fine wale cord is dressier and won’t add bulk to the lower half.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Great input, Sasha. Thank you. I learned a long time ago (when traveling internationally for a living… which brings wrinkle-free packing into the mix) to always hang clothes immediately upon arrival at a hotel or after use. Agreed on the fine wale cords point… adding, as I’m sure you would the only thing worse than bulky large wale cords are those with pleats. Unless you wish to look like a pear, just say “no!”

  20. Stephi

    I don’t have much of anything different to say on the matter.

    HOWEVER…to go with the thought of de-cluttering I have TONS to say.

    1 – If you buy a new pack of underwear/socks because the other ones are no longer up to par – THROW OUT THE OLD ONES! We wives don’t wear your underwear/socks to know which ones you no longer feel ‘hold-up’ so don’t expect us not to just wash them and put them back where they belong…we only throw out the gross, holey, or ones we wish you’d never wear again.
    2 – If we (wives) do your laundry and you’re suddenly missing your beloved t-shirt/jersey that promotes a douchebag like Farve, don’t blame us. The dryer eats more than just socks.
    3 – Anything 2-15 sizes too big/too small need to also be disposed of. It looks sloppy if you insist on wearing them, not to fail to mention potentially dangerous…and if you’re holding onto these clothes because you don’t want to buy more in the future, in case you shrink/grow back into them, we’ll deal with that issue then. Chances are greater that the clothes will be dry rotted or moth eaten by the time that day comes.

    And PLEASE for all things sacred – if 40° is too cold for you and you wish to dress in layers invest in some thermal underwear and a coat instead of wearing an undershirt, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, and then your work shirt on top and then 1-2 layers of pajama pants under your jeans with two pairs of socks. The money and time consumed with having to wash 5 days worth of clothing a day is more than the price of decent undergarments and you won’t look 15 sizes bigger than what you are.

    OH, and wear a fitting belt.

    1. Michael Schmid

      If we (wives) do your laundry and you’re suddenly missing your beloved t-shirt/jersey that promotes a douchebag like Farve, don’t blame us. The dryer eats more than just socks.

      LOL… you are too funny, Stephi. I was with you until the last paragraph. I’m not saying I disagree, I’m just gobsmacked anyone would actually wear that many layers. Max two layers for me, and usually one (not counting briefs), but then I do live in Texas where the weather today is 76°F.

      1. Stephi

        I personally don’t see the point with many multiple layers, but alas, I’m from ‘colder’ climates than my husband…I’m from northern Arkansas/Oklahoma…he’s from Alabama – Oklahoma & now Tennessee is ‘too cold’ for him…When we were in Texas he just stayed in the house for the three days it’d get cold. LOL (we were in Austin)

  21. JDaniel4's Mom

    My husband wears the preppy look minus a turtleneck. I am not sure if a turtleneck is preppy, but thankfully he doesn’t have any.

    1. Michael Schmid

      So you’re okay with the preppy look, D? Does that mean khakis (unpleated of course), polo shirts, oxford button downs and classic style suits… sort of the Brooks Brothers, L.L. Bean & Ralph Lauren look (without today’s huge logos)? It was big in the early 80’s (complete with top-sider sailing shoes) and has some resurgence in the 2000’s.-

  22. Katey

    This is what I say. If a man is unsure how to dress, just walk into your local GAP store. He can’t go wrong! BTW boxers of course.

    1. Michael Schmid

      True, within reason. GAP sells plenty of classic styles, but they also sell skinny jeans and shirts and such, which most of us “real men” would not (or at least should not) be caught dead in.

  23. Denise

    This list could get long..
    1. Ed Hardy Sequin shirts – no explanation needed. Black shades and tight jeans don’t make these look better.
    2. anything that involves mixing colors that don’t match, even if they are in the same color family. Navy blue and royal blue do not match. Same with black and navy blue.
    3. Definitely the speedos. Women are not like men. We don’t need it all flaunted in front of us to get all hot and in the mood. Esp if there is nothing to flaunt. keep us guessing – it works much better.
    4. Dress shirts tucked into belted jeans. This is not classy. It only works when you are on a ranch and your last name is Ewing.
    5. Sneakers at the beach. Even without socks – they look ridiculous.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Good list, Denise. Ed Hardy shirts (with our without sequins) seem high on many lists…. and as you say require no explanation. Mixing colors… that’s a rough one. I used to wear a lot of black, with black… coordinated with more black… to stay out of trouble. I learned (living and traveling internationally as much as I did) over time how to mix and match without causing nausea in people forced to view me. I’m agreed on your other points. You all are doing a great service to us guys. Perhaps we should start writing a series of books, “Wear This, Not That” for guys?

  24. Amanda

    Any type of affliction clothing is NOT good and flip flops, sandals, or crocks are soooo gross on men!

    1. Michael Schmid

      I’ve seen a lot of guys wearing Affliction style tee shirts and such. I’m proud to say I’ve not succumbed. Footwear sounds like a big deal to you. I’ve never found flip-flops that comfy, so don’t wear them (thus escaping your fashion ire), I do wear Teva sandals, however… but never owned any crocks. I think I once wrote a whole blog about crocks years ago when they were first big. Thanks for weighing in, Amanda!

  25. Mitzi

    Oh my word. Who said real men don’t wear skirts (I mean KILTS). Yes I have indeed seen you in this very masculine apparel a time or two and I had no doubts being the gentleman that you are; you forewent the “tradition”. But thank you for clarifying. ;).

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. I will neither confirm nor deny the allegation that I’ve sported a kilt on occasion. As for whether (if I ever wore a kilt) went regimental… well, it would have been at events where there were kids around… one good breeze and I’d be in serious trouble… so definitely would wear something under said hypothetical kilt. 😉

  26. lori

    This is a fun post. Of course, I am no fashion guru myself, so I probably need tips, too. However, a few things that tend to turn me off right away are (in no particular order) jean shorts, manpris (capris for men), girly looking man jeans, any type of cartoon clothing, and any item of clothing with glitter, sheen, or shine of any kind.

    Whew, that felt good. It must be said that I whole-heartedly agree with Shelley about confidence (which is different than arrogance for further clarification).

    This has been fun, and I will leave now :)

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hi, Lori. Thanks for weighing in. I’m not sure any amount of confidence is going to help you pull of manpris (capris for men). Yikes. At least I’m certain I couldn’t. Yeah, and skinny jeans… OMG… how horrible. Really appreciate you dropping by. I’m going to head over to your blog in a few minutes. Have a great day!

  27. Jersey Diva Mom

    Crocs are evil. Never ever ever. Fanny packs UGH. And socks w/ shorts is only ok if they are sports shorts and you’re in the middle of DOING the sport. My peeves are sneakers everywhere instead of shoes and men not taking hats off in restaurants. I don’t care if it’s Subway or Tavern or the Green- take the blasted cap off and show your young sons to do the same! And don’t even get me started on stadium crowds during the national anthem. I feel like all I do is yell TAKE YOUR HAT OFF at the screen!

    1. Michael Schmid

      My peeves are sneakers everywhere instead of shoes and men not taking hats off in restaurants. I don’t care if it’s Subway or Tavern or the Green- take the blasted cap off and show your young sons to do the same!

      Tell us what you really think? LOL. I grew up in Vienna & Amsterdam (in addition to New York) for part of my childhood. I could always tell the American tourist’s because they were wearing sneakers. Unfortunately as satellite/cable TV from the States became pervasive over there, so did our fashion sense, or at times lack thereof… and now many of them wear sneakers, too. Hat in church, restaurants, etc… bother me, too. I’m not a hat person anyway. Of course I’ve got great hair, if I say so myself, and it’d be a shame to cover it up. 😉

    2. Antome

      “And socks w/ shorts is only ok if they are sports shorts and you’re in the middle of DOING the sport.” That and maybe with loafers, but in this case, only short ankle socks that don’t cover our legs.
      “men not taking hats off in restaurants.” Some girls also don’t, but i think men do to hide recession or baldness, while it is true that thin hair, if well groomed and kept short, don’t look bad on us, we shouldn’t be that concerned, I speak as a thinning one too.

  28. kelley Simpson

    I too have a hubby in uniform. However because of this, some uniform boys have no idea how to dress. My favorite is my husband’s racing t-shirts that are so old and thin I can actually see his chest hair through them. I don’t throw them out because they do not belong to me. (heavy sigh…)I do steal them sometimes in the middle of the night to sleep in them but really? I did request they never leave the house, but we all know how well that works.

    Some turtlenecks can be hot on the right guy… and NOT on the wrong one. Never briefs, always boxer briefs. No fanny packs, please.

    Clinton Kelly from “what not to wear” said crocks are evidence that the apocalypse is near… I agree.

    I have to confess, my husband wears a sunglass lanyard (He may have to save the world on a sunny day and needs to be able to retain his glasses.)
    He even wore a knife clipped onto his slacks to our wedding and yes always clips his cell phone on every pair of pants/shorts, and if he could figure it out he would clip it to his underwear.

    Here’s the deal, he has never asked me to tell him how to dress, so I haven’t actually gotten too involved. I figure I’ll stay out of it until he does ask. He dressed like this when I married him so it’s not like I was too surprised. Most of the time, I’m looking at him and don’t notice what he’s wearing so I guess that’s ok.
    One time I looked at him and couldn’t help but laugh, no, really I couldn’t help it. He left the room and came back in a few minutes wearing a new pair of shorts…. with socks and shoes. ( I know…)
    So I figure if it really gets bad I can always use the laughing strategy.

    Vedette’s list pretty much summed it up for me.
    I loved this post and all the comments! Thanks!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Clinton Kelly from “what not to wear” said crocks are evidence that the apocalypse is near… I agree.

      I occasionally find my stuff in the trash (and pull it back out again), but for the most part my wife is like you and won’t throw away something that’s not hers. I guess if for the most part if you don’t notice what your hubby wears when not in uniform, then it must not be too bad. And when you do, breaking out into peals of hysterical laughter probably will do the trick. 😉

  29. Keri@GlamorousArmy

    I have bigtime issues with men in spandex. My husband has to wear these little shiny spandex shorts under his exercise clothes (thank god it’s not visable to the public) but that area of a man’s body shouldn’t be THAT shiny. We have friends that post their marathon pics on FB and it makes me a little uneasy for them to display their stuff to the public like that. Yikes. As for the turtleneck, SOME guys can pull it off. It doesn’t sound too bad the way you describe, but up til now I’ve only seen European men sport it in a fashionable way.

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. There are very few people who can pull off spandex. Personally I think we should require and empower store employees to “just say no” to the 99% of people who should simply never where spandex. Just sayin’

  30. Elana

    Y’know what’s funny? If this was a list of comments listing all the things that women shouldn’t wear, most of us commenting on it would be freaking out at the sexist and judgemental nature of the topic and threatening bodily harm upon you. Just me? Ok. ;o)

    Anyway, with that said, and being completely aware that I am in no way a fashion expert (I don’t think my style has really changed since high school. C’mon – black on black. It’s classic), there are some things that really are just wrong and should be banished from all existence. This includes (but is not limited to):

    -shirts with cartoon characters on them. Cute if you’re 4y.o. or one of the guys from “The Big Bang Theory”, or perhaps headed to the latest comic book convention. Otherwise, (Conversely, band t-shirts are fine for casual wear, like if you’re hanging out at home or whatever)
    -bedazzled or rhinestoned anything. Pretty self-explanatory
    -faux NASCAR jackets with patches from various companies plastered all over
    -trucker hats/ball caps in general
    -denim jackets
    -ill-fitting pants (too tight, too loose. Just get a pair that fits properly, dammit! Stop pulling them up all the time, or looking like you painted them on)

    ..and pretty much everything else that has been listed already..

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hi Elana, I guess in part I can get away with being sexist toward guys because I am one of them. And as you point out, there are a few definite “no” items. Personally, I’d recommend one picture George Clooney. If he’d wear it, then you’d be pretty safe. I can’t see him skinny jeans, a wife-beater tee shirt, fanny pack, shorts with black socks and sandals, and trucker ball-cap worn backwards… can you? ‘Nuf said.

      1. Elana

        So what you’re saying is, “WWGCD” – What Would George Clooney Do? ;o) (And if that’s the case, I think he would burn every last turtleneck in existence, but that’s just me. Really. If you must wear one with a sport coat, at least go mock neck. It’s…yeah. It’s just less.)

        Also, I loved the fact that you’re aware of the fact that some men are (and can be) fashionably challenged. I just couldn’t help but picture some poor dude clicking on to this and getting all offended by a bunch of people basically telling him that everything he wears as a gender is wrong. Still, if they can’t take a joke, then that’s their karma, right?

        1. Michael Schmid

          I do hope no one’s male ego was irrecoverably damaged by my little public service announcement here. I’m a guy, I’m allowed to stereotype myself. 😉

  31. BabyBumpBeyond Heather

    The only thing my hubby owns is a plethora of Philadelphia sports tees and jerseys, long sleeve thermal shirts, 2 polos, and US Marine uniforms.

    I can’t say that he looks “bad”, but I prefer the uniforms 😉

    1. Michael Schmid

      That doesn’t sound too bad. My wife bought me some thermals which I wear under t-shirts sometimes in winter. I suppose polos are a bit 80’s, but I still wear them sometimes, too. And what guy doesn’t look good in uniform?

  32. Kimberly

    As long as your wife is OK with it and you are happy with it- it doesn’t matter I guess.

    I am one of those females who is a bit fashion clueless and doesn’t get subtext either.
    Tweed & Turtlenecks just scream ITCHY & UNCOMFORTABLE to me.

    I hate shopping and am often gently chided by my females friends for my wardrobe. (they just don’t understand that green hiking sandals are awesome and really should be worn with everything)

    I often wear sunglasses indoors. Migraines will do that to a person
    I pretty much never wear socks (green hiking sandals don’t need socks)

    and the only time I my husband’s clothing choices bothers me is if it is something that looks itchy or something that is a nasty color (like pea green soup or mustard gold)

    I’m more about fresh breath and clean hair.

    1. Michael Schmid

      If your friends “just don’t understand that green hiking sandals are awesome and really should be worn with everything” that is there loss. When I met my wife she carried a hand-me-down (from her roommate) army green canvas purse with everything she wore. Personally I found it unpretentious and adorable. She did finally replace it with a more fashionable leather purse (once she wasn’t carrying a diaper bag everywhere), but I’d be find if she went back to her old one.

  33. Letters From Home

    My husband wears socks with sandals. I tease him all the time about looking like he’s heading off to the retirement community. He’s only 41. But, for whatever reason he likes the look.

    1. Michael Schmid

      “He likes the look”? I can see making that choice in order to provide more comfort… less rubbing, perhaps? But not as a fashion statement. Yikes!

  34. Shelley (EvenAndy)

    Muscle shirts are the worst ever. I feel if you have muscles, they will still show in a shirt that fits you. I love your list. This was a fun and cute post:)

    1. Michael Schmid

      Thanks Shelley. Interesting that my tongue in cheek post about what guys should know not to wear would turn out to be one of my more popular ones. I’m so happy you stopped by!

  35. Leanne

    You mentioned no socks with shorts….How about no socks with sandals. Dated a guy one time who thought it was attractive to wear socks with his sandals during the winter time. Anything hemp = NO! (bracelets, necklaces, ankle bracelets….yes same guy)

    Girls love….
    Guys who have nice shoes, a good blazer, clothes that fit them, and that keep the hair stylish and DO NOT grow it long….EVER!

    This was a cute blog! It would be interesting to hear what guys have to say about the way us women dress…..But then again maybe we don’t want to really know what they think!

    1. Michael Schmid

      It would be interesting to hear what guys have to say about the way us women dress…..But then again maybe we don’t want to really know what they think!

      I suspect on the whole guys would probably have less fashion don’ts for women than women do about us. I would say that spandex bike shorts should be used with discretion by anyone. 😉 Thanks for your kind words about my blog.

  36. Tracy (@calormom)

    Love the post :0) Now for my two cents, this may sound stupid to most of you, but my personal pet peeve is a pair of shoes that my husband bought maybe 15 years ago in Italy. They’re nice brown dress shoes. He treats them like they were a Porsche so they’re in great shape. The shoes I do not have a problem with. My problem starts whenever we have to dress for a wedding or nice evening and he wants to wear the brown shoes with a black suit. I think this looks ridiculous. We don’t see eye to eye on this one and I finally just give in and hope that nobody looks at his feet.
    That being said, I could certainly have it worse. :0) But it was nice to get that off my chest….

    1. Michael Schmid

      Italian shoes are great, and well made men’s shoes definitely last longer than most women’s shoes. But you do want to wear black shoes with a black suit. The other thing that I’m a bit anal about is coordinating (at least somewhat) is one’s belt and shoes (and if possible socks). No brown shoes with a black belt. OMG… do you remember the white patent leather shoes from the disco era. Okay probably only in movies, but yikes… anything John Travolta wore in Saturday Night Fever should be a big “no!” :)

    2. carrien (she laughs at the days)

      Sounds like it’s time to go and buy him a suit that matches his shoes. Light gray, kaki, linen, etc. :)

  37. Ado

    Holy shit you get a lot of comments!

    Um – the cashmere turtleneck is, for me, the sexiest most wonderful thing on my husband, bar none. He has a black one and a brownish one, and one cable knitted one. I love him in them. I may have terrible taste but I love turtles! After reading your post, no wonder I have a hell of a time these days finding turtlenecks to buy for him – maybe they’re “out.”

    I only feel strongly about one other “look” that I think men should avoid – someone stalked a man in a supermarket to get a photo of “the look” and posted it today, but due to Mommy brain-damage I can’t recall who posted it (thought it was Kelly’s Breakroom but may be wrong, can’t find it). Anyway “the look” to avoid is bermuda shorts and/or denim cut offs, knee-socks and black shoes of any kind.
    Keep that in mind when dressing and you’re good to go.

    1. Michael Schmid

      So are you saying the following combination of socks, sandals and vinyl nappy is definitely out?

  38. Merry120

    Awesome post! I agree with almost all of your “do not wear” list. A few things to add:

    – Pocket pants. My husband used to own many pairs of these. The drier has eaten them all.

    – Faded or worn looking golf shirts. I know you love it but once it’s gray instead of black….toss it.

    – Anything that can be described as “skater wear” if you are over the age of 15.

    – Super tight muscle shirts ESPECIALLY the ones with the deep v-neck. OMG…..the worst and I am seeing them more and more on big muscle-y guys. It just looks sooooo icky.

    1. Michael Schmid

      I’m with you on all of them, Merry, except I’m not sure what pocket pants are? Do you mean cargo pants (with pockets on the sides) because Jack, immediately below this comment said cargo shorts are a no no?

  39. Jack Adams

    Is it just me or were there some glaring omissions here?

    Baseball hats inside. Or baseball hats period.
    Affliction T-Shirts – Dragon T’s – Printed T’s
    Cargo Shorts
    Flannel of any kind
    woven freindship bracelets/necklaces
    Golf shirt with collar popped up

    Just a few off the top of my head.
    Best of luck

    1. Michael Schmid

      Excellent points. LOL. Most of those were covered in the comments above at least a few times. With great hair like we both have, why would we want to wear a hat. Yeah, I modest. Just ask me.

      Now what is the problem with cargo shorts. I rather like them, though as the next comment points out, def don’t tuck your t-shirt into them… and as you and others pointed out: NO AFFLICTION Ts.

      If my little girl makes me a braided friendship bracelet you try to stop me wearing it. 😉

  40. Crazy Sister

    Just don’t tuck in T-Shirts. It gives a very ‘remedial learner’ look.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Well, as far as fashion goes… a lot of us guys need some remedial education. So I shouldn’t tuck in my Affliction T-shirt and pull my high-water pants up above my navel? Got it. 😉

  41. JDaniel4's Mom

    I just wrote a post yesterday about how JDaniel wears socks with his sandals.

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. Well, I put socks on with my little girl’s sandals. The truth is it’s probably more comfortable in many cases, but we must suffer to look cool. 😉

  42. Marisa

    Quite frankly, I love it when my husband wears his cargo shorts… then I don’t have to carry a purse. Married men, remember you dress to keep your lovely wife happy :) Also, I’m not a fan of silk shirts unbuttoned to the navel with polyester dress pants (particularly if you only have one wiry chest hair), so if you don’t look like Ashton Kutcher, please don’t don this hideous couple.

    Great post!!


    1. Michael Schmid

      Fortunately I do look like Ashton Kutcher so I can pull off the shirt open to my navel to display my well tanned, six-pack? NOT! Sadly the only six-pack around here is in our fridge. 😉 I agree, though not everyone does, about the practical nature of cargo shorts overriding and style concerns they may raise.

  43. Sreno7

    no Fruit of the Loom undershirts as shirts please. Not the T-shirt style and definitely NOT the wife-beater. I don’t want to see armpit hair GROSS
    Unless you are Ryan Gosling don’t go shirtless walking down the street, as a matter of fact Ryan can put on a shirt too.
    Some guys can pull off a man bag. Younger hipsters and some European men.
    I had a boss, a Frenchman from Switzerland. He was the first guy I met with a man bag and it didn’t detract from his sexiness at all!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Unless you are Ryan Gosling don’t go shirtless walking down the street, as a matter of fact Ryan can put on a shirt too.

      I LOVE the comments you all are leaving. You crack me up. On the subject of the man bag, my brother gave me one as a gift, but I’ve only used it on trips to Europe. To be clear, my brother and I went to school in Vienna and Amsterdam, so it was not such a strange thing, but I’d not try it here.

  44. MrsEvilGenius

    Things a guy should never wear?

    SCENT! Anything that smells! Never, never, never! I absolutely DISPISE any sort of cologne or aftershave or body spray on a man. I like the way a (clean) man smells!

    I even hate the smell of my Evil Genius’s deodorant usually. I try to buy the mildest stuff but most bloke’s deodorant smells like a whore’s nasty bits on a hot day in Louisiana. *GAG*

    Give me a freshly washed man, even mildly sweaty, smelling of just soap.

    When I pass a bloke in the store with scent on I think “Auditioning for Jersey Shore today, eh?” or, alternately, “Your opinion of yourself and your penis size are in direct opposite proportion, aren’t they?”

    1. Michael Schmid

      most bloke’s deodorant smells like a whore’s nasty bits on a hot day in Louisiana

      Tell us what you really think! LOL. Your comment got caught in my spam filter. Apparently your references to sexual organs of both men and woman caught its electronic eye. 😉 I wonder if others feel that way. Perhaps I’ll have to post a blog on scents? Hmmm.

  45. Crystal & Co

    Pleated plants make me cringe!

    On the other hand, sock with shorts are ok- go with ankle socks.

    Great list. Thanks for linking up. Shared this on Facebook.

    1. Michael Schmid

      It’s funny because we were all wearing pleated pants a decade or so ago. And I NEVER thought they were flattering (at least not on me). Thanks for weighing in, and sharing it!

  46. kat

    I really have to say that a classy watch looks great on a guy, or even (IF you are particularly classy) a pocket watch! But really, most jewelry is ridiculous. Keep it simple. Cuff links are good too.

    Something that I LOVE guys to wear are scarves – manly ones, solid or houndstooth patterned, or a muted plaid are great with a simple v-neck fitted (not tight) tee!

    A semi-casual blazer is great too! corduroy or velvet always encourage your significant other to hug you, and let’s face it, a tailored blazer is always sexy!
    If you live in a cold climate, a cashmere sweater under a leather jacket with a warm hat look great too!

    One thing men should NEVER wear short of being cross-country runners are short shorts!! It wasn’t hot in the 80s, and it still isn’t! Picture a hairy-legged woman wearing short shorts. Yeah, told you it was gross!

    1. Michael Schmid

      So I should drop my dream of joining the 610 Stompers? LOL.

      Per your other points, I grew up in Europe in part, and so some of your taste fits with mine quite well. I fear some American women might not agree with it all, though. Oh, and I don’t do hats. If you have hair like mine, why would you want to cover it up? 😉

    2. James

      @kat: “One thing men should NEVER wear short of being cross-country runners are short shorts!! It wasn’t hot in the 80s, and it still isn’t! Picture a hairy-legged woman wearing short shorts. Yeah, told you it was gross!”

      But here’s the thing…in the 1980s men weren’t generally thought to be ugly the way we are today. Possibly we were better looking, or at any rate thinner.

      Generally, what clothing a guy chose for a particular situation was, imo, more a function of comfort than it is today. On a hot summer day short shorts were comfortable even though they might not be absolutely the best look for us. Hairy legs? So what? We’re men, and that’s how nature made us. What we wear under all possible circumstances shouldn’t be dictated entirely by what other people think.

  47. kat

    Haha! Well in that case rock your ‘do!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Thanks, Kat. 😉

  48. Vander

    Your blog is really interesting to me and your topics are very relevant. I was guilty of 3 of them.

    1. Michael Schmid

      I’m sure I’ve been guilty of more. 😉

  49. Melissa

    I concur with everything on your list! I’d also like to add the bluetooth ear piece. If you’re not talking on the phone, take it off! Wearing it to look important, like you could get a call at any moment, is just douchey. Wow, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say that. :) Thanks.

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. I agree, Melissa. Have always been bothered by that, too. I’m glad you could get that off your chest. 😉

  50. Daniel

    1. A bowtie. Unless you’re a clown or George Will.
    2. A baseball cap flipped backwards. Unless you’re under 30 or a MLB catcher.
    3. A Mickey Mouse watch. Get a real timepiece.
    4. Sneakers or sandals with an Armani suit.
    5. A manpurse.
    6. Sagging pants and a hoody
    7. A necktie that ends above the navel area
    8. A suit, shirt and tie ALL in different bold patterns
    9. A cologne that enters the room before you do
    10. Sunglasses after dusk
    11. A Che Guevara T-shirt after graduating college
    12. NFL coach sized headphones on the street
    13. An expensive leather jacket with half stars and half stripes. Your clothing shouldn’t be a GPS device for people on the street.
    14. Beards that fall below the waist. Unless you’re ZZ Top or a rabbi.
    15. A Justin Bieber hairdo. Even The Beatles hated them.

    Those are my top 15.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Wow… that is a truly excellent list, Daniel. Seriously, you need to re-post this someplace. It’d be a public service for people everywhere. You might garner a Nobel prize in fashion for this. :)

      1. Daniel

        Thanks Michael. Agree with what you say. Wouldn’t it be great if there were a Nobel Prize for men’s style? Hmmm. Oh, I forgot to add one more: “A man in a turtleneck holding a toy dog in his arms at a cocktail party.”

    2. Michael Schmid

      Yeah, take away the gun and add a toy poodle and even Steve couldn’t pull this off.

      1. Daniel

        That’s hilarious! So true. Btw, I worship at the church of Steve, and Lee Marvin and Clint and Sean…. Steve would’ve never commited such an atrocity.

  51. ellyfilho

    I Personally like the preppy/ Casual look for my husband, but i also like the Formal/Suit look if you combine the colors the right way … as for the

    turtlenecks ~ I personally think my husband looks very Hot in a turtleneck so I’m gonna say turtlenecks are ok if you can pull it off …

    high-water pants ~ Looks very awkward and I don’t like it

    skinny jeans ~ Completely grosses me out.. I don’t even let my boys wear it hahahah

    un-clipped nails ~ Disgusting

    bling (except wedding ring) ~ I think it looks nice, like a Dad ring or a respectful size chain.. those big huge ones are gross

    socks with shorts ~ Please NO.. if your wearing shorts wear sandals or a very low socks if you have 2

    crocks with anything ~ I think they are so ugly even for women or kids ( sorry )

    sunglasses indoors ~ oh come on.. you have to be a total looser to do something like that and think it’s cool hahaha

    fanny pack or man-bag ~ Not a fan I think it’s for old people and NOT a guys thing .. Just plain ugly

    and like I mentioned above Speedos~~ gives me the creeps hahahha
    oh and very tight shirts specially if they are Lycra material ewwwwwwwww LOL

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hi, Elly. I could have sworn I responded to this forever ago. Sorry. I’m pretty much with you on everything, though my wife bought me a pair of Crocks with leather tops, and I must confess they are pretty comfy and not too horrid looking. And I do sometimes wear a turtleneck with a tweed jacket, but then I work at a university, so I believe we get dispensation on that?

    2. Antome

      “socks with shorts ~ Please NO.. if your wearing shorts wear sandals or a very low socks if you have 2” Most of the guys with shorts I see in summer, almost never wear shoes, indeed, mostly sandals, so they don’t wear socks, but when they use shoes, they always have high socks on.

  52. James

    Pleated pants? These guys beg to differ:

    It was through looking for the chords and lyrics to the song that I came across this site.

    Personally, I’m more a jeans guy than a slacks guy anyway, but I never understood the revulsion towards pleated pants, as long as they are otherwise nice looking and fit right. I do think you need to slender to pull it off, though.

    1. Michael Schmid

      How funny. Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head, James. You need to be slender (and preferably tall) to pull off pleated pants. Sadly I’m neither. 😉

  53. Susan

    Thanks for this awesome post. :-)

    1. Michael Schmid

      You’re very welcome, Susan. I’m here to help. 😉

  54. Amy

    Hmm, my husband wears tighty whities. I don’t mind overly much. I am the only one seeing them after all. They serve a function.

    Skinny jeans don’t look good on anyone. Period.

    Crocs are fine if worn in the right situations.

    Highwaters are really only capris. If you don’t mind wearing capris and looking like a lady, all the power to you!

    Do they still make fanny packs?

    Pleated pants are horrible, horrible, horrible. I don’t care how tall and slender you are, it serves no purpose and looks ridiculous.

    Here is a new one: Personally, I’d rather men wear middle eastern garb. Why? Because there’s only one package I prefer to see, and that is my husband’s. It doesn’t matter how relaxed your trousers are, either. I’d prefer to not have to avert my eyes or expertly look at everything but that area in an attempt to see your shoes, especially when you are on stage.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Pleated pants are horrible, horrible, horrible. I don’t care how tall and slender you are, it serves no purpose and looks ridiculous.

      Tell us what you really think about pleated pants, Amy. :)

      As for Middle Eastern style clothing, your point aside, I’d have to imagine an nice arabian jubba worn over a traditional loose fitting dishadasha would be more comfortable in the Texas heat than the suit I’m wearing today? The closest I’ve come to that kind of dress though is a cotton celtic kilt. Quite airy.

  55. Andrew

    I can agree with most of these items but dockers? I have also recently switched on cell phone clips only because of testicle cancer being linked to carrying a cell phone in a pocket.

    Energy Load Calc

    1. Michael Schmid

      Interesting about cellphones in pockets. I carry mine in my back pocket. Hmmm. As for dockers… I’m sharing what women say. Don’t shoot the messenger. LOL. I’m wearing chinos today that could easily be mistaken for dockers. Mostly, I’d say don’t wear anything with someone elses name on it. Unless they want to pay me to advertise for them, I don’t want to wear it.

  56. Fred66

    Men should never, ever wear the following, no matter how tall or slim:
    Skinny jeans
    Baggy jeans
    Shirts with messages of any kind – even if for a good cause
    Wide neckties
    Cowboy buckles
    Cowboy boots unless you are a genuine cowboy
    bulging wallets in their back pockets
    Speedos, unless on a swimming team
    Open sandals if your toes are crappy looking
    Form fitting shirts if you have a belly

    1. Michael Schmid

      Excellent list, Fred! I saw a student on campus today with his pants hanging totally below his butt cheeks, displaying an unimpressive pair of undies. Honestly his pants seemed to defy gravity. How they stayed up I’ve no idea. What are kids thinking these days. OMG… I’m turning into my dad. Actually I kind of am.

  57. Coolguy77

    A few years ago my list would have been longer, but as I get older (all of 25 now), I have come to accept the need for braces over belts, and long underwear as winters get colder, and heat gets more expensive!

    The list is now as follows:-
    Do NOT wear
    slogan T shirts
    socks with sandals
    low rise jeans with high rise underpants
    belts with braces & vice-versa
    shades apart from June through August
    singlets in public (unless an Olympian)
    3/4 length pants
    untucked shirts with a tie or jacket

    Actually, I think teenage fashion is so casual that we are all turning into our parents at younger ages, Michael.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Actually, I think teenage fashion is so casual that we are all turning into our parents at younger ages, Michael.

      Do you think? Actually I think parenthood has contributed somewhat to the loosening of my fashion standards. I won’t even commit to writing the weird combo of things I was wearing on Saturday. :O

  58. Jon

    Dude, if you go through all the comments it appears that we are left with a very few choices. It will be easier to write down “what to wear” than ” what not to wear”.

    1. Michael Schmid

      What a great idea for a new blog post, Jon! Or perhaps a book, “Wear This, Not That!” 😉

    2. Michael Schmid

      Really good point. 😉

  59. Flendry

    I’m sick and tired of hearing women trying to tell men what they can and can’t wear. As a human being it’s my choice what the hell I wear. This means if I want to wear tight jeans, thongs, speedos, panties etc I’m going to wear them. For you ladies out there that don’t like well F*** YOU! Why don’t we turn the question around a mention the things that 10 things women shouldn’t wear.

    1. Thongs – They were made by men for men. Men need support not women! For you ladies out there that use the lame excuse that you don’t want your panty-lines to show here’s a suggestion…WEAR LOOSER PANTS!!
    2. Make up – You all look like ridiculous clowns!!!
    3. Pantyhose – They make your fat asses resemble cottage cheese wrapped up in spandex!
    4. Push up bras – I’m sick and tired of seeing your tits hanging out!
    5. Tight jeans – If you’re going to wear them lose lard ass first!
    6. Nail; polish – Adds to the overall clown effect
    7. Gaudy jewelry – Looks like you’re wearing a damn chandelier!!
    8. Short Shorts – Acts like a hoe is a hoe!
    9. Pants, swimwear, shorts, etc pulled way to deep up your asses. I personally don’t want to look at your butt and see the outline of your a**hole… GROSS!!
    10. A gallon of perfume – Some of you can be smelled a mile a way.

    Lastly, you ladies need to get a grip and realize that guys like to feel sexy too. I’m sorry big ass baggy jeans, boxers and shirts the size of tents don’t look or feel sexy. A tidal wave of change is coming ladies. You better get ready or you’ll get wash away when it arrives!!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Flendry, tell us what you really think. LOL. Other than editing out a few non-family-friendly expletives, I’m not going to alter your post. Guys, girls… what do you think, does Flendry have a point?

      1. Jeff

        i totally agree with flendry except with the swearing…. what the heck is wrong with pleated pants may i ask ? i wont buy dress pants unless they are pleated because they look better ..flat front dress pants are retarded…i wear low rise boxer briefs, tighty whities are just nasty so are breifs for all that matter. an yes We REAL men need to feel sexy also and no im not gay I am a married man with 5 kids and im not in the least bit curious thats a sin that will send you to hell. women wear alot of nasty clothing and do their hair retarded also … a poof seriously no Guy on earth likes them its all on you. low rise jeans and a thong? we dont want to see your underwear no more than you ours. Unless your getting out of your clothes then thats a whole other story The thing is neither sex knows what the other likes nor wants and the whole persona of what good fashion is ,is just as rediculous as me telling you what you can and cant do in your personal home. Im sorry Holywood fashion is plain ridicuous and they tell you what is hot and not. if you like it wear it if you dont like it dont wear it its that simple we are all individuals with individual likes and dislikes. BTW my wife thinks im Sexy in pleated pants or anything else i put on under then and thats what matters I like them she likes them and we’re all happy.

        1. Michael Schmid

          Per your last point about your wife finding you sexy in pleated pants… I say go for it. When my wife asks me what I want for my birthday/Christmas, I almost always suggest something like an inexpensive shirt that SHE will find me sexy in. Who cares what anyone else thinks? As for why people dis’ pleated pants, it’s because most guys don’t look their best in them. Not saying you don’t, but they tend to make one look fatter and shorter, especially if combined with cuffs. I’m already Hobbit-like enough, so I avoid them. 😉

          1. Antome

            I never worn pleated pants, but maybe they just need to be well taylored and not baggy.
            About Jeff, I don’t agree with short shorts necessarily be a “Acts like a hoe is a hoe!”. If not well put off with the outfit, at most they can be tacky, but not slutty, it’s not the outfit that makes one slutty, unless deliberately trying out too hard.
            I also don’t agree about nails polish, hell even some guys can pull off black nails, why can’t girls. Though I personally don’t like rose, yellow and some other colors depending on skin complexions.
            Cyan nails, is one of the few things I think black girls don’t pull of very well, for example.

          2. Michael Schmid

            Thanks for your replies to some of our other commenters. Personally I’m not nearly as strict about these fashion dos and don’ts than some people. I just created the forum and suggested a few items for discussion. It’s been a hoot reading peoples comments, and I really appreciate yours, Antome. :)

  60. Liz

    Flendry is obviously gay.

    Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    1. Michael Schmid

      We’ll have to leave it to Flendry to address that. Hope you have a super New Year, Liz!

  61. Shane

    Who cares about stupid fashion. Wear what YOU want and feel comfortable in. All this men don’t wear that or women don’t wear that,or oh that’s out of style is really stupid. If you don’t like speedos then.don’t look or if you don’t like that beer belly don’t look.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Oddly this post has proven more controversial and divisive than those about breast feeding or miscarriage. LOL! I agree. Wear what you like.

  62. Ezra

    I do wear Skinny’s and I’m a man-> boy(?) only 20 years old now. But, I’m 1,82m tall and weigh 50kg… Anything other than a skinny pants make me look like MC Hammer. So, maybe for most men it’s a no go but in my opinion there are exceptions.

    1. Michael Schmid

      To all rules there are exceptions, you’re right, Ezra. Wouldn’t want you to look like MC Hammer. “U can’t touch this!” 😉

  63. arihant jain

    LOL After reading all the comments i’ve come to a conclusion no matter what ever u wear it will always be digged and swiped upon.. for reals.. like every thing what ever u wear is hated by some 1 or the other… i even read that some 1 said that they dislike denim.. like serioussllyyy?? so what do we wear to get a universal acceptance from u women… It is a convoluted question if u can retort to this.. cheers

    1. Michael Schmid

      A convoluted question indeed. My answer: wear whatever the heck you want, as long as you feel and thus project confidence that you are attractive. Leave the skinny jeans and insecurity at home and you’ll be fine. 😉

  64. flatseven mens designer clothing

    Mens designer clothing have always played an important role within adding the glamor quotient and environment new developments in male fashion put on. Designer wear is no longer seen as a ladies domain just. Male designs are now becoming a preferred option, as top models for displaying the most recent fashion trends. Men too have finally emerged as worldwide fashion icons, in recent years.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hmmm. Not sure anyone will ever call me a worldwide fashion icon. Nor do I really care. Sour grapes? 😉

  65. Kristi Bonney

    Biggest fashion problem I have with my husband? Getting him to understand that a polo shirt is not a dress shirt. Also? That he doesn’t need to wear head-to-toe STL Cardinals gear all.the.time. He already has STL Cardinals tattoos.

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL! Of course for some guys, a nice polo shirt is a step up the ol’ fashion runway? Beats a “wife-beater” style tank top any day. What a name for a fashion item. Yikes! I agree the Cardinal’s gear may be overkill when worn with those tattoos. Gotta admire his commitment to the team, though.

  66. Suna

    My nomination for inclusion is pants waists that hit or are above your belly button. This is sad, because my husband wears them this way, with suspenders. Over “tighty whiteys.” But, he is old and has no butt. Pants below his belly line would fall off, and that would offend more eyes than his pants ever would.

    I live in a weird place, Austin, Texas. All young hipster and emo men wear skinny jeans. My son (in a rock band) looks good in them. And lots of guys here have long hair, or hair with interesting long sections. It’s part of the vibe of the place. My husband is an old hippie, and his hair is long. It actually looks better on him. But, we hang out most of the time at our ranch, so all that Western stuff everyone’s aghast at looks totally normal. Bolo ties look fine, because they are in their place. And everyone tucks shirts into their jeans so you can see their giant belt buckles. And you change from the straw cowboy hat to the felt one in the fall. That’s how you know the seasons changed.

    I think it’s pretty interesting to have regional variations in clothing, though. Why not? We don’t all have to look alike!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hi, Suna. My late father was a longtime resident on his ranch near Austin, so I totally understand what you mean. I have (mostly in my distant youth) spent a fair bit of time down there as well. As for your hubby’s choice of higher-wasted pants with suspenders, there’s something to be said for being practical. Personally the older one gets, the more flexibility I feel they should be granted in most choices, fashion and otherwise. Really appreciate you dropping by and weighing in!

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  68. Jaylen

    I wear skinny jeans, lol.

    1. Michael Schmid

      I’m sure they look great on you. I wear slim cut pants and jeans myself (versus the ubiquitous “relaxed fit” variety). That said, just like spandex shorts, there are some people who should just say “no” to skinny jeans. Thanks for your comment!

  69. Kelli

    I know that Speedo’s have been covered, but let me tell you that I am permanently scarred by a trip to the beach when I was about 16. Picture this: a 50-ish man, wearing a red Speedo, with a nearly-complete sweater of back hair, smoking a Sherlock Holmes-style pipe. That was 30 years ago – and I will never forget it!

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. Forgive me for laughing at your pain, Kelli. Too funny. Yeah, some things are impossible to unsee. :)

  70. Lance

    I live with 4 women, a wife and 3 daughters, 19, 11, 10. I have no sense of style. I’ve learned from them to never tuck in my shirt unless it’s a dressy affair, only wears boots or tennis shoes, how to use an iron and lint brush, and baseball caps are to be worn properly, not backward.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hey, Lance. I hear you. I’m only outnumbered 2 to 1, but can fully identify. My six-year-old daughter has started to “fix” my hair for me in the morning. Meaning she tells me it’s not right, so I get down on bended knee so she can correct it. Love your blog by the way. Totally kicks mine’s butt. You had me at “the Nickelback of eateries” in your recent post.

  71. Laura

    Oh my goodness! Awesome article dude! Many thanks, However I am having troubles with your RSS. I don’t understand why I am unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone else having the same RSS problems? Anyone who knows the solution will you kindly respond? Thanx!!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Thanks, Laura. You’re right. When I last updated my blog’s theme I must have somehow lost the link to my RSS feed. I’ve fixed it. You can find the link on the top of this page, last icon on the right. Appreciate the heads-up and the kind words about my post. Have a great day!

  72. Brandon

    I went to Brazil on vacation and went to the beach with a group of friends. 95% of the men there were wearing speedos. Fit, fat, young and old. All of them were wearing speedo. I wore board shorts and looked very out of place. To be honest, my attitude towards them are largely influenced by my culture. In the United States, we’re really against them for some reason. Could of be because we’re afraid that we’re going to look gay? A friend took me shopping to buy a pair. I wore them. Yeah, I did it. I’m a fit guy so I liked how they made me feel. Maybe it’s an ego thing, but I’ll do it again!

    1. Michael Schmid

      I hear you, Brandon. To be clear, this post is about what women say they prefer guys not wear. I personally prefer speedos when scuba diving, as it’s much easier to get into and out of diveskins and wetsuits in a speedo, versus trying to stuff baggy board-shorts in. Also, I grew up partly in Europe, so as you point out different cultures are different. That said, apparently some women aren’t too keen on speedos. Don’t shoot the messenger. 😉 Thanks for your comment and have a super day!

  73. Paul

    Funny. If someone wrote a piece about “20 things women should never wear,” there would be an outrage and a pack of rabid feminists would be all over this blog. But apparently, it’s okay to shame men. I’ll just wear whatever the f–k I feel like wearing. Keep your stupid opinions to yourself pal.

  74. Brett

    I have really enjoyed this blog. I too was a man in uniform and I always wore very comfortable clothes when off I live in New York which is the most. unique place in the world. Anything goes. Guys and Girls both wear sweats out on the town, caps in restaurants, girls wear bikinis walking around Manhattan or even topless in the summer (legal here). Every style of fashion is worn here and they never get a second glance. We are very open minded people and we have better things to do than to be as shallow as to spend so much time on worrying about what someone else is wearing.

    If that’s your biggest problem in life you are very very lucky. GROW THE F–K UP!!!

  75. Michael Schmid

    In response to the last two comments: Paul & Brett, chill dudes. No one is going to take your skinny jeans, sandals with socks or fanny packs away from you. This was filed under “humor” for a reason. Does the expression “tongue in cheek” mean anything to you? Of course guys can, should and will wear what they want. Pretty sure I wore cargo shorts with crocks last Saturday. 😜

  76. Rawa

    I didn’t know jeans had a gender.

  77. Some Dude

    I don’t think it’s any woman’s business what a man wears. Considering women get the run of the wardrobe they should stick to minding their own business. Guys should dress in whatever makes them feel comfortable.

    And the last time I checked, women usually scream bloody murder anytime a man tries to tell them what to wear. So no ladies, you don’t get to give advice to guys. You don’t want us telling you what to wear and don’t want you telling us what to wear. Because believe me, if most guys said what they really thought about what some of you wear, you wouldn’t like it.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Thanks so much for you comment. This post, of course, was tongue in cheek… except for the bit about skinny jeans. That’s one thing most guys should not try. I’m not giving up my cargo shorts and sandals anytime soon, though I will forgo socks. Have a great day!

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