My cellphone knows where the bodies are buried!

I should explain. I just got a new iPhone, which as you may know has an integrated “personal assistant” named Siri. The female voice of my iPhone, Siri, is very helpful; perhaps too helpful?

Siri on the new iPhone 4S says the funniest things!The idea is you can raise the phone to your ear and ask Siri to do things, e.g. “Remind me to stop and pick up milk on my way home tonight”. I did that just now, and this is what it said.

Okay, Michael. I will remind you to stop and pick up milk when you leave, or at 7pm.

It’s when you ask it something unusual that it get’s more entertaining. When I asked it to get me a cup of coffee, it gave me the location to about 6 coffee shops. When I asked it to marry me “She” said:

Why don’t we just be friends?

When asked for “the meaning of life, the universe and everything” you geeks out there will be happy to hear it responded quite correctly, “42“. And when asked What’s the best phone? It replied:

Wait… there are other phones?

It takes a little used to waiting for your turn to speak and sometimes Siri will cut you off. I was trying to demonstrate Siri to my wife and when it kept cutting me off I said, “Shut up and let me talk.”

That wasn’t very nice. (was it’s response)

And lastly, I can’t recommend you do this as Big Brother is likely watching, but if you ask it for a good place to hide a body, it is frighteningly helpful. This is what what it said. I’m not kidding.

Siri iPhone 4S - Funny Responses - I need to hide a body

When you select English (US) Siri an annoying female voice (hey, I’m still hurt about the whole, “Let’s just be friends, thing”). If you switch it to English (UK), French or German it’s a guys voice.

What would you like me to ask Siri?


1 ping

Skip to comment form

  1. I get my new phone today. I think I will change Siri to Soro from the UK. Just cause, you know, if I want to talk dirty to my phone I don’t want a woman to answer me. LOL

    1. LOL. So it has a different name in different countries? I didn’t know that. When I changed it to an Aussie “girl” voice, it did tell me it couldn’t search on locations in the US. I’m sure it had plenty of suggestions for where to grill shrimp on the barbie? There may be a downside to changing the language. And the German voice (apologies to my many German friends) was even more bossy than the American one. 😉

  2. hahahahhaa That is 2 funny I can’t wait to get mine … wonder what it will be telling me ツ

    ps. what did your wife think?

    1. Actually my wife has a brand new white iPhone 4S, so she’s probably having funny conversations with Siri herself, Elaine. Hopefully Siri won’t mention my proposal? 😉

  3. I didn’t know i could get a male assistant if I changed to UK. Tomorrow I am ON that.

    1. The Australian personal assistant is a female with an Aussie accent. But when I tried that out she told me she could not find locations in the United States. So while it might sound better to have an English male personal assistant. You may find he’s not as helpful as you think. Of course perhaps you don’t care? 😉

  4. As you may/may not know I am currently in the Dallas area, so this is the 1st chance I’ve had since I arrived last Wednesday to check any blogs! This one was quite entertaining. I’m certain you intended just that. I’m sure you are just gonna love the 4S…Have a lovely day, and just in case I don’t get the chance to tell you guys later…have an Amazing Thanksgiving! Big hugs to you all!

    1. Hello, Leah. No, I am almost never online and missed the fact you are in our neck of the proverbial woods. Yes, I am enjoying my iPhone 4S and Siri, thanks. You and yours have a very safe and happy Thanksgiving, too! ♥ Hugs ♥ right back at ya!

    • Because Apparently This Does Not Go Without Saying | Stream of the Conscious on at

    […] your clearly empty brain with a flaming winecone. Then I will bury your body in the nearest marsh recommended by Siri. Seriously? I will TAKE. YOU. DOWN. if there is one slightly pinkened area on my child’s body. […]

Leave a Reply to Michael Schmid Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.