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A Pod Snatched Daddy

A little background from Wikipedia (the font of all knowledge) in case you are not familiar with the classic old sci-fi film Invasion of the Body Snatchers. In it “the townspeople of a remote village are being replaced by perfect physical duplicates grown from giant plant-like pods. The Pod People are indistinguishable from normal people, except for their utter lack of emotion. The Pod People work together to secretly spread more pods — which grew from seeds drifting through space for years — in order to replace the entire human race.” And now with that premise established, on with my blog…

Stack of Diapers

Prior to having a child I’d heard rumors of parents who’d alienated their friends with excessive descriptions of their child’s toilet habits. Now, it seems, I am one of those parents. It sneaks up on you slowly, and it is our self-respect and shame not our emotions the pods steal. I’d taken 6 weeks off to help out at home during those first mad sleep-deprived weeks after our little girl’s birth. Upon returning to work is when it first happens. You find yourself at the water cooler making idle conversation with your coworkers… and then unbidden it slips out… a joke about the toxic sludge you found in your tiny baby’s little diaper the night before. Some brain chemical change that kicks in upon your child’s birth (or is the pod?) prevents us from seeing the horrified awkward glances the non-parents in our midst exchange.

Baby Bjorn Potty Chair

So here we are now, two years later, and just a moment ago I could not have been more proud of what my darling little girl left in the bottom of her little potty, and clearly I feel compelled to share it with you now. The ceremonial parade to the bathroom to flush said deposit may easily match the fanfare of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s impending nuptials. Potty training started last weekend, and even though she caught a tummy bug on day 1 (what horrible timing) she’s a trooper and has done an amazing job. I’ll spare you more details… just this once. Dear friends, fear not, the pods will release us one day and we’ll return to normal again, though probably much more understanding of new parents on planes, in restaurants and during disgusting water cooler talk.

Am I alone… or have you observed or even experienced this phenomenon yourself?

12 comments

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  1. Barbara Lambert

    Ha! That means you are an active parent! This is a good thing. It happens again when you become a grandparent.

    1. Michael Schmid

      It happens again when you become a grandparent.

      Really? I thought one of the perks of being a grandparent was spoiling the child and then handing him/her back in the event of any bodily functions? I’m just kidding. Many grandparents take an extremely active hand in helping. Thanks so much for dropping by, Barbara!

  2. Mrs.Mayhem

    Awesome! “I could not have been more proud of what my darling little girl left in the bottom of her little potty” — ain’t that the truth?!

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hey, there. So nice of you to drop by this humble daddy’s (well, I pretend to be humble anyway) little home on the web. You’ve been through this a few times, but it’s my first, so I’m decidedly proud of my little girl. Thanks!

  3. kathy

    nope, you’re not alone. It’s amazing how obsessed you become with poop when you become a parent. I never thought I’d cheer and clap when someone takes a dump yet I find myself doing cartwheels when my daughter lands a big one on the toilet haha. The things we do, right?

    1. Michael Schmid

      I know. It’s funny how our perspectives shift. Well not so funny for our non-parent friends, but they’ll just have to get over it. LOL.

  4. Megan (Best of Fates)

    Clearly I haven’t experienced this, as I’m not sure what she left that was so impressive! However, I have a best friend with no sense of shame or boundaries.

    None.

    So while I found it awkward the first few years, I’ve now come to accept any discussion as normal, and would totally have accepted that as normal conversation at work!

    1. Michael Schmid

      LOL. We all know people like this… it’s just shocking when you realize you’ve become one of them. 😉

  5. SweetTMakes3

    We haven’t grossed other people out yet (that I recall) but the amount of conversation between the two of us about excrement is a little disturbing.
    And being diaper-free is way more epic than a royal wedding! Here’s hoping for smooth sailing.

    1. Michael Schmid

      Thanks so much. The potty training is going great. I must credit my wife and especially our little girl who is working so hard at succeeding. You’d think right after writing this I’d have been more aware, but I only just caught myself telling a non-married, no-parent co-worker about the potty training. Oops. Have a very safe and Merry Christmas!

  6. pooja

    hey thr ! found u at blog frog !
    Lov the way u write !! :)
    u seem like a very active parent ! m not a mom , nor married … but i really find it fun now reading all this :) :) mann… potty training 😀 he he Wish ur baby gal lots of love ! from here !
    i follow u from
    http://lightboxcreative.blogspot.com/
    Please follow me back !
    God bless !

    1. Michael Schmid

      Hi Pooja. I noticed my wife follows your blog, as do I. Now why a non-parent (or really anyone) would want to read about potty training (<== my wife has a good blog on it, though if you do) is beyond me. LOL. But it's always nice to make a new friend. Have a great weekend.

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